The Crocodile Hunter
by Keroppi1
Summary: Steve Irwin meets Fluffy.


Somewhere deep in the forests of Japan, an overly enthusiastic Australian man lumbered forward with camera in tow.   
Suddenly, without reason or logic, he charged ahead startling his companions as they were forced to follow.   
He waved his hands around frantically, mumbling inaudible words, and pointing excitedly towards the ground.   
  
"Check this out," he shouted. His eyes large and wild. He crouched down to the ground. "Right here we have the   
Hai coral snake! Oh, isn't she a beaut! Look at the those stripes."   
  
The camera zoomed in closer to the snake.   
  
"This snake is highly venomous," the man replied and then reached out, picking it up by its tail. The snake   
thrashed over towards him, causing him to jump back slightly. "Whoa! He's a feisty blugger, isn't he?"  
  
"Steve," a female voice interrupted and the camera turns to a woman who is also dressed in khaki clothing.   
  
"What's that over there?" She pointed ahead.   
  
The man named Steve let the snake slip softly out of his hands before rising to his feet. With one hand cupped   
above his eyebrows he scanned the area.   
  
"Oh Crikey! That has to be the biggest wallaby I've ever seen"  
  
Silence.  
  
"Ah, Steve," the woman chimed in again. "There aren't any wallabies in Japan."  
  
"Oh," he moaned, realizing his mistake. "Well then, we'd better check it out."  
  
The creature stood still, watching the moronic man intensively as he cautiously edged forward. He stopped   
just feet in front of the slightly agitated dog-demon.  
  
"Wow! Isn't she gorgeous!"  
  
"She?" Sesshoumaru mumbled, his eyebrows lowering slightly.   
  
"What beautiful markings. Her white fur is probably used to camouflage her during the harsh winters."  
  
Steve's eyes shifted down to the haglike imp that stood at his side.  
  
"Oh, look her Terri! This must be her offspring. The hairlessness tells us that it probably isn't more than   
6 weeks old."   
  
"Steve, look at how large the tail is on the mother."  
  
Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes.  
  
"Tail?! How many times do I have to tell people that this ISN'T a tail. It is merely a fur pelt that accessories   
my already fashionable outfit."  
  
"She's seems to be getting agitated. Maybe we should get a little bit closer."  
  
Steve took a step forward.   
  
"Milord, who are these idiots? Would you like me to dispose of them for you?"  
  
Sesshoumaru said nothing. He just continued to stare down the pathetic human who DARED call him a woman.  
  
"She seems to be calming down. She must not see us as threatening."  
  
"Human weakling," Sesshoumaru replied smoothly. "You do realize that you are trespassing on my territory?   
I should slit your throat for seeing any likeness between the imp and I."  
  
"It seems that she is trying to communicate with us. I think she might be hungry."  
  
"I can always eat you."  
  
Steve crept forward again. Now standing only a couple of feet away from him.   
  
"Now I'm going to attempt to grab her by the tail."  
  
"Be careful, Steve!" Terri cried.   
  
"Are you daft or just plain deaf? I told you before that this isn't my tail," Sesshoumaru growled.  
  
"Oh, girl. It's all right." Steve said, crouching down as he approached.  
  
Sesshoumaru stood statuesque, glowering down at the man.  
  
With a sudden clumsy dash, Steve leaped forward, latching on the fur pelt that was wrapped around   
Sesshoumaru's shoulder. With one graceful step, Sesshoumaru moved to the side. Sending Steve hurdling   
to the ground.   
  
"Oh crikey! That hurt," he moaned, pushing his face out of the dirt.  
  
"Now human filth, you shall die," Sesshoumaru snarled and raised his arm up.   
  
"Oh no! Steve!" Terri screamed as it became apparent that this new found animal was going to attack.   
  
A large whip formed in the demons hand and a small grin spread across his lips.  
  
"Now die."  
  
He thrusted his arm down, but was stopped by a sudden sting that surged through his neck.   
  
"What the..." his eyes shifted to the human woman.  
  
"You son of a bitch! How dare you try to hurt my husband," she screeched. In hands she held a large metal object   
that was pointed directly at him.   
  
"How dare you! I will make sure that your death is a swoe ande paidtul..." Sesshoumaru's vision blurred before his   
eyes rolled back completely into his head. He body went suddenly limp and fell with a thud.   
  
"Milord?" Jaken blinked a couple of times. "Milord?"  
  
"Whoa! That was a close one," Steve said as he stood up. Wiping the dirt off of his shorts.   
  
He turned towards Jaken, who was now starting to tremble like the coward he is.   
  
"It's alright little fella. You're mommy is just sleeping. She'll wake up in a couple of hours. Come on Terri,   
we should just let her rest, because I don't want to be here when she wakes up. She is going to be REAL cranky."  
  
"Steve! Steve!" Terri cried out. Pointing ahead once again. "Look over there. There's a white baboon up in that tree!   
Let's check it out."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
